And I can’t even close them tonight.

And you still take my breath away

• Everyone:Are you okay
• Everyone:You look tired
• Everyone:You look upset
• Everyone:You look confused
• Everyone:Are you mad at me
• Everyone:What are you mad at
• Me:IT'S MY FACE

Tired

Mind racing

Excited

Scared

Stressed

Sleep is out of the question for tonight. So I guess I’ll be doing what I do best in a restless things-think about ridiculous and pointless things.

Today was awesome.
Then SHE showed up.
The arguing in my brain had started.
I don’t know which one is me.
My brain is like a TV that flips channels spontaneously.
Some days she takes mercy, stays in her corner, but some days she is cruel and relentless. I’m not crazy.
This is literally the conversation that took place:
Me : I’m actually going to miss them.
Soon I leave and Chris begins the tirade. I’m being pounded by words again.
He walks away upset, tells me to think about what I’ve done. (I vaguely snapped at him) .
Her: Give it up. No ones going to love you. I mean even I hate you.
Me: leave me alone today. You made me snap.
Her: I made you grow a pair. Your stupid and hideous. He’ll dump you soon enough. You’re a waste of breath, blood and bones.
Me: please go away, please not today.
Her: don’t you just want to die? You’ll save everyone the disappointment. Just let go. Chris already thinks your a monster.
Me: it’s not my fault. You won’t leave me alone. You decide when to make people mad or hurt.
Her : No you=no problem.

I can’t hide it anymore and I’m about to tear my brains out with a butter knife. No ones gonna get it, I don’t get it.
Chris says I’m being a terrible person. I am terrible. Im not worthy to have him.

I think I need a shrink or something ..anything ..sleeping is the only reprieve I have. But even then horrible nightmares plague me.
The only thing is
I’m terrified
That she IS me

I’m so confused.
I want Chris’s protection
But what would he keep around someone so freakish as me for?
So many Beautiful girls
Normal girls
Amazing personality girls.

He’s got me.

I’ll see you in a matter of time.

If any of you guys are reading this…
Never think you’re anything short of beautiful.
Every human is born beautiful. Some just have theirs sucked away.
Don’t let some one take it from you or make you believe it has slipped through your fingers.
Because its always there. You just have to give it some light, move those who cloud and block the rays.
YOU have to believe it.
Because in the end, its the only opinion that matters.

D:

(Source: boozeboysandbitches, via hardycrunk)

washingtonpoststyle:

The countries of the world, rearranged as a chicken.

The image is old, but seemed important.

via Buzzfeed.

(via mayisay-ilovedyoumore)